A Day of Excitement

2011 August 24

Yesterday was pretty exciting! In fact, it was so exciting that I almost forgot to write about it. Well, didn't forget exactly, just got so tired that I went to bed before 7:30 PM. Don't judge me! Apparently earthquakes can really suck the energy out of a person. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

The day started off with a visit to my Urologist for my regular three month cystoscopy. Dr. T saw no new tumors! YEA!!!! And double YEA, since that means that I get bumped up to every six month cystoscopes now. I forgot to ask him how long I have to be tumor free to get bumped to once yearly, but I'll ask him when I see him in six months! Curious too to find out how long I must remain tumor free to be considered cancer free.

After the doc, I picked up my brother and we had a late breakfast together. That was nice. One of the things I will miss when we're traveling is those occasional breakfasts with Vinny. Is it odd that one of my brother's is my best friend? Well, even if it is, I don't really care. He's one of only a few people whom I know I can always count on.

When I dropped him off, our Daddy snoozing on the front porch so I just headed home.

I hadn't been home very long, when there was a shaking of our whole house. Truth be told, I was in the bathroom and thought I was hallucinating at first. The bathroom window seemed to be moving in and out. I also had a strange butterflies - in - my - stomach feeling, as if we were moving up and down in an elevator. As I ran down the stairs to the first floor, yelling, "Raymond, did you feel that?" I was pretty sure it had been an earthquake.

Now, I have heard about animals who react prior to such occurrences. Let me assure you, Greyla is not one of those wonder dogs! Before I had ventured to the second floor, I had been on the front porch, reading the newspaper. Greyla was stretched out on the glider. She did not move from her spot, neither to accompany me indoors, nor, apparently as a result of any rocking and shaking the house did. I looked out to find her still in her recumbent position on the porch glider, oblivious to any earth movement. I find it a little odd that a dog who goes on alert at the sound of people talking a block away, has no apparent reaction to the rumbling of the earth. Oh well, she IS an enigma.

Since we wanted confirmation of what we assumed to be an earthquake, I went immediately to the Internet. Doesn't everyone? Sure enough, at http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/ I was able to get the scoop and was amazed that it was felt as far north as New England.

All in all, the day must have taken a lot out of me, because at 7:15, I headed to off bed. Did that earthquake sap anyone else's energy? Maybe it was just a coincidence, although I don't believe in coincidences.

Late Night Thoughts

2010 January 24

An immense feeling of sadness has slowly been encompassing me for the last several hours, to the point that I feel the need to cry.  Where this comes from is a mystery to me.  Well, maybe not a total mystery.  I finished reading A Big Little Life  tonight.  It was another joy-filled book that made me laugh out loud at times, just as Cowboy And Wills did.  And, although Cowboy & Wills  made me cry throughout the reading, there were no tears with Trixie until the end chapters of her Big Little Life.  Still the lingering effect of C&W was amazement and a glimpse into possibilities.  And though the message of A Big Little Life was to live in innocence and in each moment, the feeling that stays with me at the moment is regret.

I regret that I have not been a better mom to Greyla.  Granted, she is nowhere near  as intelligent or intuitive as either of the dogs in these memoirs, I wonder how different she might have been had I been more present for her.

She came into our lives a mere two weeks after Jake, our 13 year old Lab passed away.  Jake was my heart dog.  He & I were connected deeply and my grief was overwhelming.  My heart was never really open to Greyla, for many years, because my loss of Jake was an unhealed wound.  I am only beginning to see how I allowed my pain to isolate me from this dog.  My excuse was always that Greyla was meant to be Raymond's dog, since he requested that our next dog be a female, black lab and since she arrived for his 50th birthday.

Greyla is nearly 11 now.  Is it too late for me to be a 'good mom'?  I hope not.