2014 August 14
Several days ago, a friend posted on Facebook, a quote which basically said that the concept of "soul mate" and "love of your life" are not the same concept, but rather separate concepts that involve choice.
My knee-jerk reaction was to disagree. In my mind and heart, the concepts were intertwined. The idea that there is one person to whom my soul responds, as if we are, both somehow, tuned to the same frequency. A single person whom I instinctively trust completely, even in areas where I had been afraid to trust previously. One individual to whom I am drawn, as if by powerful magnetism, who also is compelled toward me, in the same fashion. These were the concepts that in my mind, defined both the love of one's life and one's soul mate.
Until I read what Chris posted on her wall on Facebook, I thought that both my soul mate and the love of my life, were one human being who passed through my life nearly forty years ago. I see now, that while that may have been true at that time, I have changed and grown in the interim. I married and committed to marriage with someone whom I did not view as either my soul mate, nor the love of my life. And to be honest, I am aware that he doesn't see me as either of those in his life. So we made a choice to love each another. As our vows said, "..for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us." That was A CHOICE!
Then I began to think about it, as the original writer had expressed, as a choice. Perhaps one's soul mate is the person to whom your soul resonates, as if tuned to the same frequency. But, perhaps, the love of your life, depends on your definition of love. And perhaps throughout our lives, that definition can change, according to our spiritual, emotional, and psychological growth.
As I thought about the idea of both soul mate, and love of one's life, it occurred to me that looking at it from a Christ-perspective, isn't our Creator, Redeemer and Comforter, the true and real fulfillment of both these concepts?
If real, true, agape love is about honoring the "other person", then haven't we all been done the greatest honor by Christ? He loves us unconditionally, and awaits each of us, patiently, till we turn to him. Even when things we do pain him and are an affront to goodness, still he waits, loving us, even in our sinfulness. That seems to me, to be perfect love.
Too often, I let the corporeal define how I interpret concepts like soul mate and love of my life. I know I am not alone in this. Too many people are caught up in how the world defines us. The things of this world will pass, including our bodies. So, why define important things by limited concepts? What is the first thing we learned as children, in catechism? In case you don't remember, or didn't have catechism, the answer is: God is love. So, shouldn't we always choose love? Perhaps that is what the originator of my friend's post meant. God loves us, in spite of ourselves. We need to learn how to do that - to love each other, regardless of the circumstances. That starts with a CHOICE.