Randomness

2011 October 16

We are on vacation at the beach in North Carolina, as guests of my brother Vinny. Two weeks of relaxation, time spent with family and trying to completely remove all thoughts of the remaining chaos to be sorted through before we get on the road full time.

I am grateful to Jennifer who has been keeping an eye on the home front, thereby allowing our time away to be less stressful.

Thinking about all that remains to be done at this point in our vaca would be counter productive, so I'm not going to follow that particular flotsam any further.

I apparently got rid of my bathing suit in my purging. I have spent a week here without one. Maybe today I'll take a trip to Walmart and see if they have any fat girl clearance suits available. Or I'll at least get a tank top, so I can get a bit of sun without looking like a farmer.

Raymond plans to spend the day watching football. My brothers, Vinny and Dave may come along with me on a short shopping excursion. It amazes me how willing they are at times to go along on such trips. Excursions that Raymond would never join. Remains to be seen if Greyla will tag along or not.

The beginning of this two week vaca was a little rough for me and for Greyla. The day before we were leaving, I fell on my brother's concrete porch and jarred myself pretty good. I think I also managed to pick up a few germs from Nicky & Anamaria right before we left which managed to ferment and manifest the day we traveled and for a few days after we arrived. Poor Greyla is getting a little too old to make the jump from the back compartment, especially since she's used to having the entire area behind the front seats as her domain. When we have a couple extra passengers, requiring the back seats to be up in a sitting position, she gets a bit cramped. She seems back to her old self, though. She's settled into a vaca routine and is appearing quite content.

I have been walking more than I do at home. That bodes well for the future, I think. While I am not comfortable walking in our home neighborhood, the fact that the last several days I've walked between a mile and two miles encourages me that I will be more inclined to walk when I am in a place where I feel more comfortable.

While I am looking forward to getting on the road, I find myself consistently wondering if I could live somewhere in NC. While I love the mountains, I wouldn't ever want to be that far from the ocean. We've talked about living somewhere like Greenville, where East Carolina University is located. But, who knows where we will end up...

I'm more than a little concerned about our choice of motor home. The Class C with a slide seemed like the perfect fit for us and I guess time will tell. My worry is that it's too big at 30 feet. My other concern is the shape. The fact that the body of the vehicle is wider than the cab is worrisome to me. It hasn't really been a factor on the road, except for going through toll booths. Perhaps, it is just something I will become accustomed to as time goes by.

I need to let go of all the things I tend to worry about, until such time as there is need to worry, I guess. I also have to stop what my therapist referred to as "black & white thinking". I have a tendency to want to make things be this way, or that way, when in fact, most things are somewhere in the middle. Good thing I know I'm a work in progress.

OOPS! (Originally titled: Some Progress)

2011 Sept 1

Last night I lost the post I had written. One of those weird computer glitches or normal human error, who knows? Probably human error, since it was the end of the day and that is more likely. Anyway, now I will attempt to remember all I wrote last night. It was a positive post, with a glimmer of insight for me. Here goes ...

The final day of August was a good one, as was the previous day. One by one, things are being accomplished.

On Tuesday my brother Dave came over to help with some items that needed to go to our sister Janet's house. First we took a heavy dresser and a console table. Since Janet was at work, we were responsible for loading, unloading and all the lugging involved. I am not as young as I used to be, out of shape, tire and sweat easily. The same can probably be said of Dave. When we left my house, the intention was to deliver these items, return home and take another dresser to her house. With this in mind, I mentioned to Raymond that it would be helpful if he could empty his dresser, but I didn't really expect him to pay any attention to my suggestion. Dave and I were sweaty and a little tired when we returned from Janet's, deciding we'd move the second dresser on Thursday when Janet was off and could assist. Imagine our surprise when we found the drawers to R's dresser in the upstairs hallway! So, another load, deliver and unload took place. Since R is on the disabled list, he did things that didn't require lots of lifting, like removing mirrors.

When we returned to the house after the second trip, Dave and I were tuckered out! As we sat drinking our iced tea and trying to recuperate, I mentioned that the last thing we needed to move was R's three orange crates of LPs. Poor Dave was flabbergasted! He had assumed we were done for the day. But since I was going to be driving Dave home and since the record albums are intended to live at the house where he lives, I was attempting to consolidate trips. This is where R flabbergasted me; he said, "I can probably get rid of a lot of those albums, if I go through them." I was speechless. Dave was grateful for the reprieve; albums are HEAVY! The reason R's announcement was so surprising is that I have been asking him (OK, maybe nagging him) for eight months to do something with all his vinyl.

Wednesday started with an early appointment, followed by stops at Target and Trader Horn for a few small needed items. When I got home, I hit the basement, while R went upstairs to sort through his albums. I managed to do a load of laundry while stuffing a couple of contractor's trash bags with stinky basement stuff. And I bagged a couple of quilts to be taken to the laundromat, since they are too large for our washer and dryer. R managed to make one "keep" crate of records and two "get rid of" crates of LPs. I am so proud of him! The keeps will live in my brother Vinny's basement for now.

One of the things I bought at Target was bubble wrap. One of the reasons I needed it was to safely encase my favorite statue, given to me for Christmas several years ago by my youngest brother, Jimmy. The statue is of a yellow Lab, rolled on his back with his hind legs akimbo, a stick in his mouth, with joy and determination on his face. We call the statue, "Bax" because it so resembles the rescued yellow Lab, Baxter, who brought us love and gratitude for the six years we lived with him. "Bax" sat on an eye-level shelf of the bookcase in our living room. I smiled every time I looked at it. Not simply because it brought back memories of a sweet, eighty pound cuddle-bug, but also because it was a most thoughtful gift from my baby brother. Jimmy has given me other thoughtful gifts, but this one brought tears to my eyes the day I received it. However, a motor home is no place for a statue with delicate, projecting limbs, so "Bax" will also live at Vinny's for now, along with a few other Lab statues that hold a special places in my heart.

The bookcases will have a new home with my friend and niece, Jennifer. They will provide a sturdy place for her children's books. That makes me glad. Our books must be removed from the bookcases today and they too, for the most part will find new homes. There is another bookcase in R's office, but he isn't ready to deal with it yet. I'm OK with that now. The situation with the albums showed me that if left to his own timetable, R, too can let things go. He simply takes a different path.

Our dining room table and chairs have found a new home, too, and may be moving this weekend, or at least, very soon. I loved that dining set when I got it. Granted they weren't the exact craftsman replica I coveted, but I envisioned big, holiday, family dinners around it. OK, so those big dinners never happened. There were some small dinners with some family and with friends. Now, it's time for the table with two leaves and six chairs to provide a space for some other family's dinners, crafts and games.

Some things are easier to give up than others. Raymond is having trouble giving up his books, just as he had trouble with his records. I am looking at it as an opportunity to buy a Nook. While there are only a few books I plan to bring with me, I love to read and usually borrow my reading materials from my local library. After a conversation with my favorite librarians at our local Wood's Run Library, I like the idea of being able to download ebooks from the library, which can be done as long as we have a local address of record. R is less enamored with tech gadgets, but I'm thinking that in time, he'll come around to eReaders. It took months, but he uses his laptop all the time, now and he loves his iPod.

So, today, I'm thinking a trip to the laundromat, bill paying, checkbook balancing and maybe, lunch with my sister. I feel that we're making slow and steady progress toward the goal. What I finally realize is that although the goal is held in common, R needs to take a different path than I do. We're not on separate paths, so much as adjoining ones. What is simple and easy for one is not necessarily easy or simple for the other. The ultimate goal is the same for both of us, so I'm just taking a deep breath and trusting that we'll get there, each in his/her own time.

OVERLOAD

2011 August 27

Emotions at the moment red-lining for me.

This week included an earthquake rumbling, a personal moment of panic at the realization that we are about 10 weeks from our planned departure date, watching the coverage on Hurricane Irene and the straw threatening to break this camel's back, gunshots today, again in the alley next to our house.

I have been in a sort of frozen emotional state for awhile. I shared this with a couple of friends who have been in similar situations and they have assured me that eventually I will cry again. I am close right now, but afraid to really "let go", because I need to be strong and get through this life change first.

For those who don't know, we plan to hit the road in our new RV in early November and travel this marvelous area known as North America. We plan to put the house up for sale before we leave. There is still a lot to be done. And my dear husband is recuperating with a ruptured Achilles tendon, so he can't do much at the moment. Preparing for a huge life change can be stressful. And as an overly emotional individual, I have been keeping myself wrapped up pretty tightly to avoid unnecessary meltdowns. The result is, though I tear up and feel sad occasionally, I haven't actually cried in at least 2 months.

This afternoon, 11 or 12 shots rang out in the alley next to our house. I heard people running. I went into our sun porch to look out to see if I could tell what was happening. (The alley ends right along side our house when it intersects with our front street.) What I saw was a family, Mom and a few kids, one of whom was hunkered down wearing his Sponge Bob backpack. This little guy looked to be maybe 9 or 10. He was peering around the brick building across the alley from our house. As I watched, he jumped up and started to run back down the alley in the direction from which he had just come. His Mom, had a child in a stroller and maybe another kid, too. There may have been another woman with another child across the street, too, according to my husband. My impression was that the kid was watching for the shooter and had backtracked because the shooter was now at the Woodland Avenue intersection close to our end of the alley, instead of the opposite intersection, McDowell St, from where we originally heard the shots.

I went to the other room to call 911, which is why I didn't notice the family directly across the street from our house, on the other side of Stayton St. While I was on hold with 911 (ON HOLD! Can you believe it?) I began to shake a little. To be fair, I was only on hold for about 25 seconds, but still! The 911 operator took all the information I could supply, asked appropriate questions and said responders would be sent. Shortly afterward, we heard the police presence driving along all the streets we had mentioned.

I have no idea what happened, either before or after this shooting. What I do know is that the tight wrap I've had on myself is starting to fray. Although I am no longer shaking physically, I am shaking emotionally. As I type, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I'm not ready to let them fall yet, though. What if I start to cry and can't stop?

So Many Firsts

2011 August 14

We picked a lovely weekend for our first trip in our motor home. The moon was nearly full. We hoped to be far enough away from light pollution to see part of the meteor shower. At 3 AM, on our first night at the campground, Greyla indicated she wanted to go out, so we crept quietly out into the moonlight. It was so peaceful. There were only the sounds of crickets, cicadas and the occasional snoring camper, along with our footsteps. Walking along with the moon lighting our way through the campground, I felt safe, as if I was strolling through my own little village. It's such a foreign feeling for an urban dweller like myself. Even with my dog and my husband along, caution dictates that we never walk in our neighborhood after dark, let alone at 3 AM! As I shared this experience with another camper in the morning, she smiled, as if she truly understood. And she assured me that it is a feeling I will have in many places, as we travel.

Earlier, we had each taken our first shower in the RV. Even though we were hooked up to the park water supply, I practiced taking a quick shower, using the on/off valve on the handheld shower unit. Raymond didn't. He said there would be other times when he could practice taking a quick shower. Most impressive to me, was how hot the water from our little six gallon water heater got. Am I silly to be grateful for such things?

Since I had forgotten coffee mugs, that hot water, directly from the kitchen faucet was how we made our instant coffee. Again, I was impressed by how well that hot water heater works! Usually, I am a 'real' coffee snob, but by the end of the trip, I'd started thinking that instant wasn't so bad, after all. That was a first I never anticipated!

We cooked our dinner the old fashioned way, on the wood fire in our fire ring. Well, the hot dogs and baked potatoes, anyway. The creamed spinach we heated in the microwave - another first! All in all, the meal was very good, especially since Raymond loves hotdogs and in spite of the fact that we had neglected to bring butter for the potatoes.

As we went to bed on Saturday night, Raymond had the forethought to wind the awning in because he thought we might have rain. Since we were heading back home on Sunday, he didn't want to roll up a wet awning in the morning. About 1:30AM we heard the pitter-patter on raindrops. Raymond was right about the weather and we were experiencing another first - our first rainfall in the motor home.

Sunday morning was going to be the test. It would be the first time we emptied our tanks. Raymond, not only read the manual,but also, spied on our next door neighbor as he drained his tanks, hoping to glean some practical knowledge. We opened our brand new sewer hose and accessories package, hoping we wouldn't have a poop disaster. We did good! We managed to hook everything up properly, with no leaks and not a drop of sewage anywhere it shouldn't have been. Another first! I was very proud of us.

We were very happy with the weekend, and with how well we handled all these firsts. There had been little glitches here and there, but we faced each one and worked through it to a solution. (With the exception of the TV). We headed home relaxed and happy. We were planning when we would take our next trip and where we would go. And we were talking about all the places we want to visit when Raymond's retirement date comes around in the first week of November.

When we arrived home, Raymond suggested that I park in the grocery store lot, directly behind our house. He wanted to take off more of the offending tree limb which had caused the original crunch to our ladder, before we pulled the RV into the yard. When he assured me, "It will only take a half hour," I knew he was under-estimating. I only wish I had realized what would come next. But, since it wasn't a first, I'll tell you about it in my next installment.

Our First Camping Adventure, Part 3

2011 August 13

We had a little disappointment on Friday evening. Raymond was hoping, actually, planning, to watch the Steeler preseason game against the Redskins. He couldn't get the TV in the motor home to work. No matter what he tried. He read and reread the TV manual and the Thor manual, but couldn't get any reception. He played with the antenna. He pressed buttons on the remote. Then he pressed buttons on the TV. He tried one thing and then another. Still, no reception. The campground supposedly had access to several channels. The TV supposedly has a built in converter, so a digital converter box isn't necessary.

At first, I felt really bad for him. I mean, it was the first preseason game and he really DID want to see it. TV was very low on my list of priorities. In fact, television hadn't even made it onto my list at all. But I understood Raymond's frustration, if it had been hockey season I would've been in his shoes.

In spite of his frustration, Raymond would not ask any of our neighbors or the camp hosts for assistance. When I suggested it, he insisted that this was a problem he needed to figure out for himself. So, he continued to read manuals and press a variety of buttons throughout Friday night . When I got up on Saturday morning, he was at it again. Determination alone, however, was not sufficient to get TV reception.

By the time we left the campground on Sunday, Raymond was was no closer to TV programing. And I was feeling less sympathetic. In fact, I was wondering why he didn't find it as ironic as I did, that he had spent so much time trying to resolve the issue of TV reception when we had a beautiful nearly full moon and had hoped for a glimpse of the Perseid meteor shower.

I'm thinking it's a guy thing. But I guess we'll find out when the Pens hit the ice.

2011 August Part 2

2011 August 12 Part 2

So much to learn. So much to try and remember. So different from camping in a tent. Just as different from renting a vacation house. And different really, from how it will be when we are full timing, too. Currently, we are in the in between stage; still living in the brick and stick house, but getting accustomed to the motor home.

We haven't really tent camped in years. Once we realized that we could rent a house for vacations, sleep in a bed and cook in an equipped kitchen, and bring the dogs, while being only steps from the beach, we took the lazy way out. In recent years, our vacation houses even have the linens provided and the beds made upon our arrival. So, let's just say we became somewhat spoiled.

Packing up the RV for a short journey north required a different mind set from packing for a rented house at the beach. It also is a slightly different approach from packing for tent camping. Let's face it, we're on a learning curve here that is outside of our experience. It's going to take a little time and patience for us to get it right.

Nice to smell the woodsmoke of campfires. Good to have a bed to sleep in. Really nice to have your very own toilet and shower. Better if we had remembered to pack the soap and shampoo. Well, at least we have towels and toilet paper.

Cups for morning coffee? Oops. But we did remember the 24oz Teva tumblers. Too bad they're not microwave safe. To be honest, the only coffee we brought was instant, because I didn't want to drag the coffee maker out of the house for two days. So it would've been a good idea to bring microwavable cups. Live and learn.

"Did you pack paper plates and plastic utensils?" "Yes". Only at dinner, there were no knives for cutting anything. Oh well, adapt.

We did remember both the dog's dishes and her food. Apparently we find it easier to care for her than for ourselves. Or, maybe she just requires so much less than we do. It's all a learning process, what to bring; how to work the equipment; what's necessary and what isn't.

We are simply content and grateful we have the option. The learning will come in time.

2011 August 12, Part 1

Our maiden trip in the RV started out to be a little challenging.

First, we couldn't get the fridge to run using gas. Then according to the gauge, we didn't have any propane. Deciding what to pack is always tough with us, because I am fairly minimalist and the DH wants all sorts of doodads. The poor dog was a stress ball. Many things would be simplified if we were currently living in the motor home, as opposed to taking off for a few days. And lastly, the ever present obstacle of getting through the minimum clearance of our gate without any scrapes or bumps.

The drive north on 79 was pleasant. We left early enough that we didn't get too bogged down in the traffic at Wexford. We had one little scare, as an 18 wheeler pulled alongside us. Turned out he was trying to get our attention to let us know that the rear storage compartment door was flapping. Apparently, we hadn't locked it properly. But, it was an easy fix, although pulling out into traffic again from the shoulder was somewhat hairy.

There was something very relaxing about just setting the cruise control, staying in the right lane and letting the world drive past us. We had no time table, no schedule and no "personal best" time to beat. (I tend to compete against myself when I am driving a route that I have driven often. For instance, my personal best to Corolla is 9.30 hours.) But this time, even though 79N is a road well traveled by us, there was no pressure, no race against the clock. We had reservations at a campground and we'd get there when we get there.

When we arrived, the camp hostess, Betsy, couldn't have been kinder. We explained that we would need to purchase propane and she told us that her husband, Jim, would escort us to our site and he would help us with anything we needed.

Jim turned out to be a font of information and anecdotes. And even though I was the one driving, he shared his expertise more readily with Raymond, for which I was grateful. Upon opening the compartment where the propane is located, Jim showed us how to turn on the valve. Yep, the fridge wouldn't work because we didn't open the valve! Go ahead, laugh at us, we did! Jim also shared his hard gained wisdom of the black tank, it's use and how and when to empty it. This is an area of knowlege male RVers enjoy sharing. This isn't the first time one has offered his experience. Thanks, guys, we appreciate it. And I appreciate that you mainly want to share this wisdom with my dear husband.

After making sure we were situated appropriately to allow for ease of hook up and operation of the slide out and awning, we settled in. Water, check; electricity, check; sewage, not yet. OK, we're good to begin this next step in the adventure.

It was surprisingly warm, so we turned on the AC before venturing outside. Greyla was still a little stressed, but calmed down considerably once we had the camp chairs out with her water bowl in easy reach. The campground has a sign, as you enter, "RELAX, YOU'RE HERE". Ah, a motto to be taken to heart.

Gassing Up

Yesterday, Raymond and I took the dog and went for a brief drive in the RV, essentially to get gas. There is a gas station about three blocks from our house, but we avoided gassing up there because of the small area, which would require skills I barely have in the SUV, in regard to tight turns. So, we headed down Ohio River Blvd to a large gas station.

I made the turn off the blvd between the thrift store and the gas station, thinking to enter from the area above the station, thereby allowing us to be pointed head first toward the adjoining street for easy egress to the light and an relatively easy turn back onto the blvd. The thought was, easy in and easy out. Oops! Wrong again! There used to be access. Apparently the owners of the gas station felt the need to fence off that area.

I fear I allowed this to cause some major anxiety. I now had to enter traffic on Elizabeth St and then make a left turn into the gas station. Why is it these little glitches are the ones that mess with my head the most?

Providentially, the gas station was nearly empty.

I decided to access the pump closest to the main road, hoping for a way out that wouldn't involve trying to cut around the pumps to get back to Elizabeth Street and what I saw as easier access to Ohio River Blvd via the traffic light. I should have been focused on the moment, instead of worrying about how I'd get out.

As I turned off Elizabeth into the gas station, I forgot to think about pivot points and how the motorhome turns differently from the Mazda. "C ... R ... U ... N ... C ... H," is what I heard. I had scrunched into one of those brightly painted barriers they place alongside the pumps so that you don't hit the actual gas pump!

I backed up; made the appropriate adjustment and pulled alongside the pump. I was mortified! We haven't even made the first payment yet! At first, I wanted to take it as a sign that we are not meant to do this. That's how much I let this get to me. Thank goodness for my dear husband. We got out, looked at the crunch and he said, "That's no big deal! Besides, now we don't have to worry about the first scratch." I was still feeling embarrassed, but also blessed. How is it that R takes things so much in stride and with an eye to the bigger picture? After filling the tank, which surprisingly cost less than what we had anticipated, R assisted me in checking for traffic so that I could pull out of the gas station directly onto the Blvd, eliminating any need for tight turns back onto Elizabeth St. As we headed back the way we had come, R continued to be supportive and encouraging. Then, as we approached Marshall Avenue and the posted detours, I realized that we would have to make a left turn, followed quickly by moving into the right lane and taking a relatively hard right onto Superior Avenue, in order to get back home. R continued to offer support and even said that I should consider how much easier driving the open road would seem compared to navigating city streets. We made it back into the grocery store parking lot behind our house without further incident. Now, the tricky part where I have to back up through the gate to our yard with just several inches clearance on each side of the motorhome. Then, back the rest of the way in blind,depending on R to make sure of clearance, as the mirrors must be pulled all the way in, to fit through the gate.

We made it!

Seems the most important lessons I learned in that short little trip were: Be prepared; Stay present in the moment; Adjust; Trust R to assist; and Laugh at yourself.

The last one comes as a result of our neighbor who looked at the yellow paint along the bottom of the slide and said, "Hey! You need to sign it! That's what they do at Talladega!"