Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thoughts on...


Since last week, I have been semi-following a challenge issued by the morning DJ s on KLOVE.  It involves a 40 day study called "The Love Dare".  Each day there is a reading and a dare which is meant to help make improvements in important relationships in your life.  For the purpose of the book, it is supposed to help with your relationship with your spouse.  The application could be made to other relationships, as well.  As I have been attempting to follow the principles put forth each day, I have been frustrated.  The strain comes from how difficult some of the challenges are for me, while my husband seems to have a lock on things.  And he's not even doing the "Love Dare"!  

Maybe a little background is necessary.  I didn't even suggest that R, my dear husband, participate.  The "Love Dare" grew out of the movie "Fireproof" and has gained momentum via Christian outlets.  R has never even heard of the movie, or the book.  I decided that I am not the best wife I can be to him, so I sought to improve the way I relate to him by participation in this 40 day challenge. 

Day one asked that you say nothing negative to your spouse.  That's harder than you think!  Day one was a little tough for me.  I had to be vigilant and keep my normal negativity reigned in.  R, who, again knows nothing of this challenge, is the kind of person who says nothing if he can't say something positive,  so for him there's no big deal.  Day two held onto the previous day's dare and added the performance of at least one unexpected act of kindness.  Before I was even aware of that days challenge, R had gotten up, gone out into the bitter cold and cleared the car for me, since I had to work and it was his day off.  Day three asked that you call your spouse with no agenda other than to say you're thinking of them.  R called me at work, something he rarely does. 

Keep in mind that my husband knows nothing of this "Love Dare". So why is he better at each dare then I am?  We know the answer.  He's already kind, thoughtful, compassionate, positive and loving.  I am a work in progress.  He's not the one who NEEDS the "Love Dare".  I need it to become the kind of wife R deserves.

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