2011 Aug 25
Our plan is to get on the road, in our RV, on or around, November 7. That is just a little over 10 weeks away! Yet, here I sit, on the love seat, with my laptop open, while there is still so much to be accomplished. What in the world is wrong with me?
Yes, some things have been sold. There are items earmarked for folks that I need to deliver to them or that they need to arrange pick up for. Some things can't be given away until they are no longer needed, for example: our bed, love seat, recliner, stove and refrigerator. Yet there are many items lingering that could be gone. Lamps! We have more lamps than you can imagine. Christmas decorations! Dining room table and chairs, bookcases. Why are these things still here? Why haven't I delivered the two dressers and kitchen rack to my sister, along with the computer? Why am I sitting here typing instead of clearing and cleaning the sun porch or the basement?
Yes, I am lazy, that's a given. But it seems like it goes beyond simple laziness. Each night I head off to bed, determined that I will awake in the AM and make a dent in our crap. Yet, each morning, I arise feeling sluggish and unmotivated. I am like that road to hell. The one that's paved with good intentions.
Non-accomplishment does nothing for my self esteem. In fact, it can open the door to a downward depressive cycle. Maybe that's why I'm blogging about it. The need to face off with these feelings before they begin to run the show. Been there and done that! Do NOT wish to repeat those behaviors.
Add to the equation the fact that Raymond is currently unable to help lug, carry and move things. He sees the Ortho doc right after Labor Day. But even if he is making as miraculous a recovery as he keeps claiming, I don't see Raymond being able to carry boxes or help with the clean out until sometime after mid to late September. There is also the issue of what we each view as essential to have done before calling a real estate agent. This is an area where we are miles apart.
In my scenario, we get rid of all but the MOST essential things (see earlier portion of post). Then we begin a rigid cleaning, scrubbing, deodorizing and disinfecting campaign, which may include taking up the very old carpet from the first floor. We do not (on this we DO agree) plan to do any major work in the house. The plan has been and continues to be, to sell it, "as is". The fly in the ointment seems to be defining what we each consider to be "major" and "as is". For me it is doing the above stated cleaning, etc, along with finishing some half finished projects. For instance, there is a kitchen counter lying up against the wall in the hallway, which I think needs to be installed. There is a partially laid floor in the bathroom that needs to be finished. And I little painting in the kitchen, as well. For Raymond it is doing nothing! No, I'm not kidding; he actually said, "Well, we're selling it as is, who cares? It's not our problem, it's the problem of whoever buys the house." That was his response when I said that we would really need to do some major cleaning.
So there you have it. the summary of why I'm feeling overwhelmed and under-motivated.
In the middle of feeling all this chaos yesterday, both physically and emotionally, I sent a message to a local Facebook friend. She is a professional organizer. She was at one time, one of the owners of a local resale shop. So, I messaged her, explaining my dilemma and asking whether she was still involved with the resale store and also whether she could help me. My thinking being that if Raymond hears something from an outside third party, it may be more readily taken in than if it were just coming from me. We'll see. I haven't heard from Melanie yet . I do hope I hear from her soon.
In the meantime, I think I'll take a trash bag into the sun porch... Doing something, anything, has got to be more productive than worrying about what I haven't done yet.